The End of the LNP. Cuckold Kingdom.

It ended in reality with the stepping down..shall we call it “abdication”..of Menzies from the leadership of that cuckold party, to retire to his native homeland to be near as possible to that unrequited love of his life Elizabeth Two. Buried now, he is in his beloved England, that other love denied the colonial “rough” through fault of birth..condemned to live his last term as Prime Minister dressed like a bad impersonation of a provincial Churchill, I recall pictures of him in the newspapers, heavy overcoats in a sun-drenched country , a fedora of sorts tilting dangerously forward and soft kid-goat gloves for his delicate hands..denied the motherland of his want, denied the love of his heart and denied the image of a great warrior …thrice denied..thrice a cuckolded King!

And THAT is where the LNP “kingship” ought to have ended..For Robert Menzies was a one trick pony and the monarchy of Australia was his only role..he saw himself as “king” of a nation modernising in the image and example of America, with a lot of American capital. He saw himself as a “prince” of a people worshiping a regal command, when in reality they were a people weary of economic depression and battle weary of war..in some cases TWO wars..and were just hungry for peace, peace, peace at any price..and Menzies and the conservative media really gave it to them..in triplicate!..so much “peace” it could be easily confused with death!

Menzies’ LNP, along with the collusion of a heavily biased print- media bludgeoned the populace with scare after scare of “commie this and commie that”…soviet reds under every bed and in every Union Hall and meeting…You can pick up any newspaper from the fifties and the headlines will ring out with anti-union, anti-ALP propaganda..especially upon the approaching Vietnam war, where Menzies even outdid himself and committed our troops to that forlorn hope of stopping the “communist dominoes” from collapsing right down to Swanson Street Melbourne…The Kingdom was at risk so the King went to war!..well..not actually HIMSELF, but many young men representing him did.

But no..even the Yanks cuckolded him..he had no command nor control over his own army..so like a regent in a Shakespearean tragedy, he gave his solemn farewell speech and removed himself to be near, at least, to that “love that did but pass him by”…and he was duly awarded with “Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports”…yes..” piss him off to the Kentish coast and leave him there to rot”..was the agreement of the day.

And what followed that “regal presence”, but a motley collection of strugglers with intellect low, like the idiot sons of a base, inbred aristocracy. All of them..LESS than remarkable, LESS than useful, LESS than regal..a platoon of poltroons..There is where the LNP “lineage” should have been left to die a natural death, but no, the coarse cloth of conspiracy was donned by the next usurper of the LNP “right to rule” princelings and with the assistance of a drunken buffoon representative of the English Crown and his judicial arm of Machiavellian advocates, a “new King” was crowned..out the back entrance, the servants’ entrance to Yarralumla..lurking there like a “stage-door Johnny”, too eager for his crown.

Another coward from that rank of cowards either drooling idiot-like over the spoils of the nation, or carping enviously over their more courageous opposition..Like jealous ex-lovers, kidnapping the bride in the hope she will one day love him more…and when again thrice refused, attempts to rape and debase the beauty of that bride; that national psyche…cowards, craven cowards to a person.

How many years have these frustrated monarchs spent plotting, planning and scheming with their coven of like-minded cronies in the business world..Troglodyte ghouls making secret deals with the traitors of a foreign media mogul to keep their worthless party in office..and to do THAT they would almost sell their arse..almost..well..perhaps yes..YES! that’s the least they would do! And so they lingered on, like some sort of exiled “pretender to the throne”, fool followed fool in a conga-line of suck’oles until one..a most unlikely one got lucky and voila!..a new LNP regent was born!

Fate and fortune smiled upon this weaselly one where otherwise only his mother could. Despised even by his courtiers as a “lying little rodent”, this wannabe rode a wave of economic surprise into a decade of calm waters. But here too was the flaw in the glass..here too was the “warrior inside the boy” wanting an empire of his own, so when the sky of New York was blackened with the smoke of attack, he saw his moment and swiftly aligned his “kingdom” with his allies to wreak “shock and awe” on a helpless people..the wanton death of tens of thousands of men women and children but water off a duck’s back, for he wore that cloak of cruel weave like a mantle of armour, shielding his weak body from the slights and arrows of United Nations fury. And there in his candy-kingdom of sugar-coated deceit of the masses he poured the ambrosia of rapine and plunder of the nations’ wealth upon his “battlers”, basking in a false glory of self-deluded “royalty” , his only adorers in reality those whose “love” could be purchased with thievery or favour.

But he too held a secret..a wish fulfilled , for he had been granted what he saw as his greatest achievement, his greatest moment..NOT the success of three terms of office, not the legacy of the “gun buy-back” , nor certainly the “stopping the boats” policy…no..HIS most treasured moment, preserved in the pictorial archives of the Murdoch press, that moment of hand-shaking congratulations from the President of the United States of America, who bestowed upon his frail frame, smiling the now indelible trademark “SHIT-EATING GRIN”.. the hungered for title of : “Man of Steel”.

And then not long after, he was voted out of office by a disgusted public, losing his own seat in the process…cuckolded again!

And here in this space now stands the LNP political party, with no future, a shady past, no heroes save the one long buried in another country , HIS preferred country than where he was born..No social commitment to the people of their nation, no loyalty except that purchased with borrowed moneys and no love at all, even to say more disgust and scorn than ever before, the people now keener than ever for a more attentative consort . And well we learn that hell hath no fury like a lover cuckolded.

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4 thoughts on “The End of the LNP. Cuckold Kingdom.

  1. Couldn’t have put it better myself. Bravo. Well maybe a little bit. It’s Lord WARDEN of the Cinque Ports. And suckholes not suckoles. But I’m being pedantic. As a child of the 50’s I saw my mother brainwashed by “Reds under the bed” and “yellow peril” thought it was ridiculous rubbish then , as now. More please!

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    1. Yeah..I do make those mistakes quite often..I put it down to over-enthusiasm to get down the abuse before I calm back down!..Am working on a piece about the IPA. ..that private-school “brat-camp”.

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